A Loving Remark About Love

Posted: February 14, 2017 in Blur of Life

…oh, hey there, Valentine’s Day, I didn’t see you sneakin’ up on me! Always approaching from the rear, you naughty thing.
Sitting here at work on a hazy Tuesday morning. The static view from the 8th floor is something I take for granted sometimes. Good morning, frosty Boise cityscape. I sure do appreciate you -mainly because spring is around the corner and this has been one helluva winter!

Today I’m thinking about lots of different loves I have in life. I used to be such an immature cynic, avoiding the topic of intimacy as though it had a 12 foot long foaming proboscis. However, I’m attempting to shed that shadow and appreciate love in its many alluring, dynamically shape-shifting forms. Not for any one thing or person in particular, but just an organic, flowing sense of acceptance towards the concept of love.  Opening myself to these emotions, instead of cringing and lashing out at them, has swung the doors of possibility wide open. I feel more complete, relaxed, and satisfied. As I continue to allow it to freely flow in and out of my mind, new possibilities pop up and give me further pause for reflection.

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(TL;DR)

Oh, hey there, blog! I missed you! It’s been THREE LONG YEARS since I’ve updated you. Weird, how it has been exactly that many years.

Ironic, almost.

Anywho. I digress.

I usually refrain from blabitty blabbing online about things that piss me off anymore. Crazy, huh? Nowadays I try to stick to happy-go-lucky-don’t-give-a-phucky pictures of mountains, making stupid faces, and trying entirely too hard to be curt and ironic. But, sometimes you just have to write about the stuff that grinds your gears. It may be a fleeting moment, you may get over it, suck it up, and turn a few more cheeks to feel better about the situation, but sometimes you just have to word vomit to mostly strangers and acquaintances about stuff you wouldn’t normally be able to vent about in person; unless you enjoy arguments, strange looks, a loss of meaningless relationships, or a face full of teeth.

😀 (<— smiley face for emphasis).
Not to sound overly braggy (or just old and nerdy), but I’ve been involved in some sort of social media-type-thing since Sierra Online’s ImagineNation came out in 1989 and it cost .99 cents per minute to keep in touch with your cartoon 8 bit avatar buddies from all over the world (sorry mom and dad for the $800 phone bill that summer). I don’t mention this because of anything other than to highlight the fact that I spend entirely too much time typing on keys and screens, for both personal and work related reasons. Probably just as much, or less, or more, than whoever is reading this right now. Face it, we’re addicts of a strange culture. And with this oddity comes relationships with people you wouldn’t normally give two shits about if it weren’t for their witty banter and interesting memes they broadcast throughout the day. We’ve all met our fair share of strangers from social media in person. Many times they can be wonderful, long last relationships & friendships. I have a few that have hit the two decade mark and are still going strong. It is to those, and the others who know me intimately, that I am not addressing this to.

Other times you can find yourself thinking: Why the hell am I still friends with this person?! What benefit do I gain from continuing to subject myself to self doubt and boredom? I’m here to say: nil. Or, V.O.B.: Void Of Benefit.

For a long, long time I’ve been a fixer, a people-pleaser, someone who had far too many of his own tribulations and demons to offer advice to others, but nonetheless found it necessary to express an unsolicited opinion. And, with this “trait” of mine, I wind up tying myself to people who… well, let’s just say it, “SUCK” as humans. Apathetic, egotistical, closed-minded, and self-important. People who love the sound of their voice.  People who will turn on you in a heartbeat. People who wouldn’t even take the time to piss on you if you were on fire.

In no way on earth am I saying I am the model of perfection when it comes to properly treating people who care about me. Mistakes-a-plenty have been made by yours truly and I’m the first to admit it. But, what I do strive for is adapting and evolving into something better than what I once was. Shedding the old skin and keeping in mind that the big digital clock in the sky is always ticking down, counting away the moments in some way that is still unknown to us.  In the meantime, I take pride in my ability to make people feel welcomed, appreciated, and happy to be around me. I don’t want to SUCK and neither should you. However, there are too many instances where relationships and friendships crumble under their own weight. Too many in my lifetime, that is. Getting to a point where you feel vulnerable around another human can be intimidating, scary, but it can also be empowering.  What is not empowering is making the mistake of considering an acquaintance a “good friend”. The term “good friend” or “best friend” shouldn’t be handed out like candy. It has to be earned and reciprocated.

Don’t get me wrong. We all need acquaintances as well.  What would life be like without having some sort of bar to reach.

 

Speaking of bars…
Cheers!